Dear Coleen
My partner and I, parents of an 18-month-old daughter, have found that our focus on parenting has significantly impacted our relationship, leading to a noticeable decline.
Our intimate life has been put on hold, and the prolonged absence of physical closeness has made broaching the subject or engaging in it even more challenging. Fortunately, my boyfriend’s parents have graciously offered to look after our child for a weekend getaway, marking our first solo time in quite a while, a prospect I am eagerly anticipating.
However, I am also feeling anxious about the upcoming break as it presents an environment with no distractions – no baby’s cries, no work interruptions, and no household tasks demanding attention.
I am concerned that the circumstances and setting may create pressure for us to engage in intimacy and for it to meet certain expectations.
We have not openly discussed our hopes or desires for the weekend aside from looking forward to some restful mornings.
I suspect that my partner might also be feeling uneasy, but we are both grateful for this break.
Could you provide any guidance on how we can rekindle our connection during this time? I believe it is overdue and crucial for the strength of our relationship.
Coleen says
I suggest that you focus on relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. My advice is not to overthink the situation beforehand. Let things unfold naturally when you arrive – you may find yourselves immediately drawn to each other upon entering your hotel room, or you might simply crash and enjoy a long sleep.
Let the weekend progress organically, relieving yourself of any preconceived notions or pressures, except for indulging in a well-deserved break. Perhaps you will find an opportune moment to discuss your relationship, but avoid forcing the conversation.
In a relaxed setting free from typical distractions, you may naturally engage in more meaningful conversations.
If you choose to focus on anything, prioritize enjoying shared laughter and the freedom to eat and rest at your leisure.
Engaging in fun activities and relishing each other’s company may naturally lead to intimacy.
And if intimacy does not occur, do
